This episode is Part Two of a series called Chasing Greatness. You can find all of the episodes in these series here.
In this episode I want to introduce you to some important ideas about communicating in a way that connects people, versus what I feel is the mainstream approach of communicating in a way that opposes connection.
The way we communicate determines the depth and strength of our relationships, how often we get our needs met, and whether or not we’ll be able to resolve conflict in a healthy way.
An amazing guy by the name of Wes Bertrand joins me to discuss the principles of connected communication — known officially as Nonviolent Communication.
Communication is at the core of getting your needs met. Unfortunately, there is no formal instruction on healthy communication in schools or most families.
Here’s how it works: your parents, teachers, and members of your community talk to you and talk to each other in whatever way they know best and you adopt that form of communication for yourself.
The problem, of course, is that the way most people communicate is disconnected and opposition-based. Everyone is just repeating the cycle that they were exposed to.
When communication is disconnected, your needs aren’t being met, and your relationships are being torn down, things start to go haywire. Often, you turn to food, obsessive exercise, and other self-harming habits to distract you, to fill the void, and to medicate you.
My hope is that today you begin to take an honest look at the way you communicate — that you begin to have an awareness of the amount of disconnection and opposition that is occurring, that open your mind to a different strategy, and that you begin to apply that strategy in your life.
Resources and Links
- Wes Bertrand
- Wes Bertrand – Resources
- NVC Feelings Inventory
- NVC Needs Inventory
- Radical Compassion Matrix
- “The Price of Nice” – People Pleasing
- Jorge Rubio – NVC interview
- NVC and parenting (4 interviews)
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Kevin Geary is the founder of RebootedBody.com and a respected expert on cravings, eating psychology, and long-term habit change. He’s worked with thousands of men and women in over 35 countries around the world through his online academy and programs like Shut Down Your Sugar Cravings.